Kate Westlund Tovsen is a multimedia communications consultant who works across — and often at the intersections of — a variety of sectors including the arts, public media, sustainability, local government, education, and healthcare.

She is a mom to two darling and daring kiddos and in her free time runs the Society of Working Moms Slack community. She lives near the woods and lakes of Northern Minnesota, a stone's throw from the Canadian border.

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Kate and I met through a community we're both mutually members of, and we connected over our shared passion of supporting women who are balancing both families and careers.

I really admire the work Kate has done in building Society of Working Moms (SOWM) - it is a vibrant and super supportive community with lots of inspiring threads and interesting conversation.

I've already learned a lot from Kate, and I'm excited to share her perspective on staying focused on what matters during the holidays. ✨

5 Questions with Kate Westlund Tovsen

1. How are you approaching the holidays this year to protect your peace while building holiday magic for your kids and family?

My biggest personal source of holiday anxiety is gifts – both shopping for those going out and managing inventory for those coming in.

Marie Kondo has become a bit meme-ified, admittedly, but one of a few things I’ve really held onto from her book is this idea that the true purpose of a gift is to be received. This mindset has helped me on both the giving and receiving sides.

In the past, I’ve put lots of thought into what to get each of the 14 nieces and nephews, and then painstakingly wrapping them (more on this later!) only to be disappointed with the kids seem ungrateful. I’ve learned to let go of expectations. The gift was received. ✔️

Same goes for incoming gifts. We give our kids necessities (lots of winter gear in the next sizes up!) and trust that they will be well taken care of by relatives. Inevitably, we end up with more stuff than our small house can hold. We are almost Canadian given our proximity, so we’ve long talked about implementing Boxing Day. Now that the oldest is 3 ½ and can grasp this concept, we will be celebrating the day as a way to mindfully clear out our old toys and clothes (and frankly, give away some of the new toys and clothes. The gift was received. ✔)

As far as “building holiday magic,” we keep it real simple. A tree, some tunes, and plenty of holiday movies on repeat. I’m trying to focus on that time together, as that’s the lasting stuff of memories, in my experience!

2. What is your normal go-to method for stress-relief when you feel like it’s all becoming too overwhelming?

Nothing too groundbreaking here, but I love a walk outside.. I don’t think there’s much some fresh air can’t cure! (Add a friend and it’s even better!)

Photo credit: Kate Westlund Tovsen

I’ve also found immense value in both therapy and coaching over the years. Something new to me is group coaching, which we offer weekly inside of the Society of Working Moms (shoutout to Jess Ringgenberg, ACC ) It’s the highlight of my week when I can attend!

3. Do you have any recommendations for other moms, on how to share the load with a partner or other family members, to make the holidays more manageable?

Figure out the things that really matter to you, and just let the rest go. (Like, let it go all the way, or delegate it!)

And it’s okay to have those “things that matter” change simply because you got burnt out! For me, most recently, it’s my attitude towards hosting and gifting (always back to the gifts!).

1. I’m at a point in my life where I want my hosting to be more about the personal connections and good food than a clean house. (I will say: living in a house we are actively building helps force me to let some of this go.) We tidy before having people over, but the only thing I truly care about is fresh hand towels in the bathroom. Not once has anyone ever walked into a house and said, Wowwwww, your floors! (While proceeding to track in dirt and debris.)

2. Last year was the first where my husband wrapped all the kids’ gifts. I bagged them up in plastic bags with names so everything would end up with the right recipient, and then just let him do the rest. He did a fine job, and really – what does it matter when kids tear through presents in 7 seconds anyway.

4. What’s one non-negotiable tradition you’re prioritizing time for this year?

I guess the tree? (We haven’t even put it up yet as of writing this, since we’re just settling in post Thanksgiving travels!)

Photo credit: Tessa Rampersad on unsplash

5. Can you share a bit about Society of Working Moms and how your community is supporting each other through this busy end-of-year and holiday period?

Yes! The general sense of support permeates throughout the year… that’s the beauty of a forum like this. If you have a question, share it. If you have a favorite product, share it. If you have a win, share it. If you have a hack, share it. So even though this is the case year round, it’s naturally more holiday “flavored” right now.

Where I’ve seen some more specific seasonal support is in our business owners channel. One member leads monthly calls and two weeks ago was all about planning for 2025. It’s so hard to plan as a business owner, and harder as a mom, so getting to do this in community (through the call and through the async chat) has been invaluable!

And just for funsies, we had a member take it upon herself to organize our first annual gift swap and a corresponding virtual hang at the end of the month. (Calling it the “first annual” because I am totally doing it every year moving forward!)

And it was heartwarming to open up Slack on Thanksgiving Day and be inundated with folks’ notes of gratitude for the special community we’ve all built together, which I wrote a recent post about. There is definitely an “attitude of gratitude” that I think props up this overall ethos of support.

Bonus question: If folks want to learn more about you, where can they find you?

If anything I’ve said here rings true to you, I’d love to know! Connect with me here on LinkedIn Kate Westlund Tovsen, find me inside the wonderful @unBurnt community that Alison heads up, or, if SOWM sounds like a good fit for you, come find me there!